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So as previously mentioned it was my fortieth birthday on 12 March and we decided to have a bit of a do (a do-do to be precise pun). I’m not big on do-dos to be honest, I’d rather be curled up under a duvet with a book, but BBE (best boyfriend ever) cajoled (bullied), persuaded (threatened) and bribed me into it with promises of lots of cooking (I like doing that), lots of wine (I like drinking that), and an early night (start early finish early, in bed by 9). He knows me so well.
My Wilson (keeps me sane, as per Castaway, fellow instructor, awesome friend, wonderful person and my life saver on more than one occasion) had been wandering around the studio giggling (more so than usual) and generally far too happy, going as far as to comment that her excitement was due to the birthday present she’d bought me, but which wouldn’t be revealed until my party.
Said party arrives, Wilson arrives, fairly big present arrives… Wilson hopping up and down with excitement hands it over.
Despite being a very grumpy, socially constipated (pun), individual, even I was caught up in her evident delight as she thrust her gift towards me. Upon removing the wrapping paper, I was just as excited (almost) as she was. A SQUATTY POTTY. She knows me so well too.
I had been coveting one for a while, it was on my to-buy list, but being the minimalist that I am, I was still pondering such a purchase. Wilson stopped that procrastination dead in its tracks. She also halted the slow destruction of the up-turned washing basket (and my colon) that I was using instead, which was slowly losing shape under the weight of my feet as I sat upon the throne.
As you can probably imagine, the arrival of the SQUATTY POTTY was the source of much amusement and piss-taking from my so-called friends. Notwithstanding, I retained my smug composure, safe in the knowledge of what this small lump of plastic was going to do for my shitting capability.
So there it is, happily installed in my bathroom. BBE was a bit sceptical until I explained the hows and whys. He promised to try it. After an appropriate length of time (I didn’t want him to think I’d been listening outside the door!) I enquired whether he had had the need to test our newest instalment. Bless him, his little face lit up, “It’s amazing, it comes out so quick.” I nodded sagely, “Of course it does. That’s what it’s for. No more blockages and straining.” Unfortunately for some blokes that might mean you don’t get to spend half an hour (or more) reading the newspaper or whatever it is you do in there… but that’s a small price to pay for the health of your colon, right?
You can purchase your very own poo enhancer here http://www.squattypotty.co.uk/
And watch the educational video below for the whys and wherefores
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